Do you love me?
by Abisinia
Summary: I didn't know if I should rate it PG or PG-13, but, oh well... For all Shinji&Asuka fans! A little OCC... :)


doyouloveme

Genre: Romance/slight Drama

Abisinia – [abisinia@bol.com.br][1]

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All the characters in this story were based in Gainax's Neon Genesis Evangelion. I don't claim creating them, or the anime. The use of these characters here wasn't authorized (duh! obviously!) and bla, bla, bla…You know the rest, if you're still reading this.

Anyways, this is my first fanfiction, so if you have any suggestions, please e-mail me! It is quite a long story, but I hope you like to read it as much as I liked to write it. Each part is written first in Shinji's point of view, and then almost re-written in Asuka's point of view. I thought it was an interesting way to show how their personalities were completely different.

Well then, have a good time! (PS: OCCness) 

**Do you love me?**

Shinji: I…I'm over her…surely…

The Third Child didn't seem to really believe in the words he had just said to himself. But just having the courage to pretend they were true was already a big step for him. The pilot of Eva Unit1 decided to try again, louder:

Shinji: I'm over…her?

A brief image of a sleepy girl walking towards his bed one night came back to his mind. Her… "No, stupid! Not now! You ARE over her! …. Or at least you should be…"

Shinji only realized that he was shouting louder that the boring TV programme he wasn't watching when he heard the bathroom door opening.

Asuka showed herself wearing a towel, her hair still wet, her face as red as Unit 2's:

Asuka: Where the hell do you think you are, you moron! I'm trying to relax here, so would you stop shouting before I go there and kill you?

Shinji hesitated. He started to blush… lucky that the other pilot couldn't (and probably didn't want to) see him from the place she was at.

Shinji: I…I'm sorry

Asuka: Of course you are sorry! BAKA!

Shinji heard the door slamming and went to his own room. He lay on his bed, turned on his SDAT and stood there, staring at the ceiling. Soon, his eyes closed and he fell in a deep sleep. 

Asuka: Wonder was he is doing now? … What!? What am I saying !? As I cared for that child…

She took a deep breath and sank deeper inside the bathtub. It felt so good. Good…the image of a boy bringing his lips toward her own… she wanted that so badly and yet she was so afraid she called out for her mother! … such a brave act !… And that made him stop…

"Asuka…you really ARE getting mad! … Wonder if Misato isn't giving me beer instead of juice… No, she wouldn't share those with anyone… as certainly as she wouldn't share Kaji with me…No… if Kaji was to be with me, he would be ONLY with me…"

She started thinking about Kaji…and soon, a voice shouting from the living room brought her back:

Shinji: No, stupid! Not now! You…

She didn't even wait to hear the rest. Splashing water all around, she picked up her towel, wrapped it around her body, and took a look at the mirror to see if she was looking good (not that it mattered, but it was just a habit), before furiously opening the door:

Asuka: Where the hell do you think you are, you moron ! I'm trying to relax here, so would you stop shouting before I go there and kill you ?

The were a few seconds of silence and then Shinji replied, shyly:

Shinji: I…I'm sorry

"That's it! He is a completely dumb child!"

Asuka: Of course you are sorry! BAKA!

She then slammed the door and went back to the bathtub. She was almost starting her "dreaming" about Kaji again when she heard Shinji's door closing. Suddenly, tears started dropping from her beautiful eyes and she punched the wall, furious with herself.

Shinji was sleeping without dreams, but soon an image of Asuka filled his thoughts. She wasn't teasing him, making fun of him or calling him 'idiot, baka, stupid' or 'moron'. But he knew it was her, and that he liked it that way… and, most important, that she liked it that way! He didn't know why but he wanted to speak her name, just let each adorable letter of her name flow through his mouth, as sweet as honey… as soft as a feather…

Shinji: … Asuka …

Suddenly, he felt the need to open his eyes, although he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to loose the image of the nice Asuka…but, ignoring his command, his eyes slowly opened and automatically focused at the door. Something was different. Something was strange. Something was wrong.

Half-awaken, his eyes widened in surprise when he finally saw what was the strange thing in his room. Asuka was casually standing at the door, with her typical "shorts and shirt" outfit, staring at Shinji. He had seen her in those clothes for months but he was always surprised at how beautiful she looked in those. Misato was always teasing him about this kind of thing… he didn't want to imagine what the major would say if she saw his face at this moment.

Shinji: ….Asuka? – "sweet as honey, soft as a feather" - What are you doing here?

Her mind seemed to be wandering somewhere, but, when she came back to normal, she seemed quite surprised… almost as much as him… but not for more than five seconds.

Asuka: Huh?… Ah, so Mighty Shinji does pay attention to helpless little girls!

Shinji was a little puzzled with the fast change on her behavior and didn't pay attention to all the things she was saying. He could only understand the end of the phrase:

Asuka: …cause I'm bored…

Bored. Kiss. Asuka. These words would always be connected in Shinji's mind.

Shinji: What? You don't want to kiss again, do you !?

Asuka: Why not? The Great Shinji can't act like a real man more than once in his life?

Shinji was afraid. He was sure the first time they kissed didn't mean anything for any of them. But this time, at least for him, it would be different. And if he WAS going to agree, he would have to make it right.

He blushed. Asuka, seeing it had the effect she was expecting, teased him even more:

Asuka: Don't tell me you haven't been practicing since our first… You'd better have ! I won't accept once again that lousy kiss you dared to give me !

Shinji blushed even more. Had it been SO bad?

Shinji: What if I have?

Asuka: Let's see then !

Shinji got out of his bed and walked slowly towards Asuka. He didn't want to stare at her, so he looked down, searching for the tennis shoes he always stared at in this kind of situation. But the pilots were so close to each other that the only thing he saw when he looked down was a part of Asuka's body which was not even near to be totally hidden under her shirt. He looked up again, and tried to hide his hands, which were trembling, and Asuka stared at him, with a playful look in her eyes.

Asuka: So, child? Don't make me wait, baka-Shinji!

This was the stimulation he needed to show her who was the REAL child, the REAL baka. Shinji suddenly took Asuka's face on his hands, bent his head to the side and pulled her head towards his own. Their lips touched, lightly and softly, and he still held her face on his hands, but a lot more carefully, as if it could break if he didn't watch out. He could smell her hair and feel her near him and, for a moment, he knew that was what she was feeling and that that was what she wanted to feel. But then, he felt Asuka's eyes going wide open.

She freed her face from his hands and broke the kiss, which hadn't even started. He looked puzzled at her and the girl's face was red: she looked furious. He had never seen her that way before. 

Asuka slapped him with all her strength on the mouth, and then on his cheek.

Asuka: PERVERT! IDIOT ! HOW COULD YOU KISS ME!?

She pushed him far away from her, as if he was a snake, ready to bite her once again and poison her.

Shinji: But…Asuka! You…you just … asked me to kiss you !

Asuka: AND THAT WAS THE PERFECT CHANCE FOR YOU TO TAKE ADVANTAGE ON ME, WASN'T IT ? YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED ME ! I WASN'T SANE AT THAT MOMENT ! NO SANE PERSON WOULD EVER KISS YOU ! ………….I HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shinji could see the tears in her eyes before she ran away to her own room, locking the door behind her and leaving a puzzled 14-year-old boy in his room, with the taste of her lips still in his own.

As Asuka went out off the bathroom, she looked at Shinji's closed door. A feeling of loneliness grew inside her and she walked quickly towards her own room. 

What was that supposed to mean? She was sorry for saying those ordinary words to that baka ? Or maybe she was sorry for saying ordinary words to someone who wasn't an ordinary person ? No…that was insane.

Asuka: What's wrong with me….?

She put on the clothes she always wore when she was at home and looked at her image reflected on the mirror. 

Asuka: Am I pretty ?

"Well, there is surely something strange about me today… I have never doubted I was pretty !"

Asuka: I may be pretty….but does HE think I am pretty?

"Asuka! Everyone thinks you are a goddess! You could have anyone you wanted ! Even Kaji if you REALLY wanted him ! And are you worried about one jerk's opinion?" 

Asuka: Yes ! I am ! Damn it! … and there is only one way to find out what he feels for me !

"Ha! Mighty Shinji has feelings for the incompetent Second Child? He doesn't need me ! The angels he can defeat by himself ! If he wants a girl, Wonder Girl is certainly there for him! If he wants a family, Misato is with him ! Even if he wants someone to hate, his own father is there ! I have no use for him…"

Asuka: And yet…. yet…. I want at least to know what have I done to him today. Did I hurt him…to hell if I did! He deserved it ! He has deserved everything I have ever done to him, hasn't he?

"It doesn't matter….or maybe I just don't want to know….maybe I am afraid to know…No way! Anything but being afraid ! Damn it, Asuka ! Just do what you will ! Who has the right to judge you, anyway?"

And so Asuka went quietly out of her room, making sure she wasn't making any noise while she walked, although she didn't know why. She finally reached Shinji's door. Taking a deep breath, she slid it carefully and stopped at the entrance of his room.

Shinji… he was asleep… his SDAT had fallen from his hands and his headphones rested just beside his head. He seemed to be having a good dream, because Asuka saw a smile showing up in his face. His hair was wet because of the heat, and the girl thought that gave him a charming look.

"He looks like a fallen angel…not those angels we fight against, obviously… but if angels exist they must look like this…Well, what am I saying !? I came to see if he was fine, and now I already know he is….so why can't I just leave?"

Shinji: … Asuka …

"He saw me? What am I going to say? Geez…that's it ! I came here because I was bored !….Come on, Asuka, this is just an excuse to kiss him !….And so what!?…..But…why did he sound so sweet?….I wish he could use that tone looking right into my eyes… Could I stand….could I bare his look and his eyes if he did that ?…..His eyes… I have never really paid much attention to them…"

Shinji then started to move a little, frowning, and started to open his eyes, as if someone was forcing him to do that. Asuka lost herself in those deep blue eyes, and didn't even notice they were staring at her, full of surprise. She was brought back by the same sweet-toned voice that had just said her name.

Shinji: ….Asuka? What are you doing here?

A sweet, soft voice… "Come back, Asuka, control the situation!"

Asuka: Huh? – she took about 5 seconds to regain the usual confidence - Ah, so Mighty Shinji does pay attention to helpless little girls!

"That was a close one! The poor Third Child is puzzled ! Well, let me fix this quickly!"

Asuka: You must be asking yourself why I are you being honored with the Great Asuka's presence… Well, don't think anything stupid with this dirty and pervert head of yours ! I am just here because I'm bored…

Bored. Kiss. Shinji. These words would always be connected in Asuka's mind…well, at least from now on…

Shinji: What? You don't want to kiss again, do you !?

"Mein Gott ! The boy looks scared to death ! I can't let that pass !"

Asuka: Why not? The Great Shinji can't act like a real man more than once in his life?

Apart from everything she had said, Asuka was frightened. She knew the first time they kissed didn't mean anything for any of them... that was really because she was bored ! But this time, at least for her, it would be different. And she didn't care if she had to hold Shinji's nose once more…actually, she did care…but she was too busy to think about that while she observed her roommate blushing. Seeing it had the effect she was expecting, Asuka teased him even more:

Asuka: Don't tell me you haven't been practicing since our first… You'd better have ! I won't accept once again that lousy kiss you dared to give me !

Shinji blushed even more. But Asuka knew she was lying… the boy was good at kissing…oh, yeah! He certainly was ! But obviously she wouldn't give him the pleasure to know that… and who knew if he was going to make it better this time because of what she had said?

Shinji: What if I have?

"I find it difficult… I defy you, Third Child!"

Asuka: Let's see then !

Shinji got out of his bed and walked slowly towards Asuka. "You'd better not look down now, Shinji", she though, noticing he didn't want to stare at her. The pilots were so close to each other that the only thing Shinji saw when he looked down was a part of Asuka's body which was not even near to be totally hidden under her shirt. 

"What did he expect to find there ! Well, it is worth to see him blushing !" Shinji looked up again, and tried to hide his hands, which were trembling, and Asuka stared at him, with a playful look in her eyes.

"Let's see what little Shinji is up to today…" 

Asuka: So, child? Don't make me wait, baka-Shinji!

Asuka was surprised when Shinji suddenly took her face on his hands, bent his head to the side and pulled her head towards his own. Their lips touched, lightly and softly. Asuka could feel his wet angel-like hair… apart from the "brute" beginning, she could tell that Shinji was being careful to hold her without almost touching her, and yet she could feel his touch burning on her face, on her lips. But it lasted only for a few seconds. 

Asuka's eyes went wide open when she realized what exactly she was doing. She was opening herself, showing him things he wasn't supposed to know! This was supposed to be a joke at the beginning ! And she could feel Shinji wasn't taking it quite like that ! In a moment, she knew he was enjoying the time…and worse than that: that SHE was enjoying not the kiss itself, but being with him ! She couldn't allow that! She didn't love him ! No way she could ! That pervert made her do that !

She freed her face from his hands and broke the kiss, which hadn't even started. She had never been so furious !

Concentrating all her strength, as if she was about to fight an angel (the ones they DID fight against), Asuka slapped him on the mouth, and then on his cheek. 

Asuka: PERVERT! IDIOT ! HOW COULD YOU KISS ME!?

"Get away from me ! I don't want you to touch me ! I don't want to feel that again ! Not with you, not with anyone ! I don't need it !!!!!!!!" Asuka pushed him away from her.

Shinji: But…Asuka! You…you just … asked me to kiss you !

Asuka: AND THAT WAS THE PERFECT CHANCE FOR YOU TO TAKE ADVANTAGE ON ME, WASN'T IT ? YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED ME ! I WASN'T SANE AT THAT MOMENT ! NO SANE PERSON WOULD EVER KISS YOU ! ………….I HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Asuka felt tears coming, but she didn't know why. Where they furious tears, sad tears ? And HIM ! He was looking at her, and she knew he would think she was weak… because she was crying…. She almost couldn't run away to her own room in time to lock the door and sink her head between her knees and let the tears fall…

But it didn't matter how many tears washed her lips… none of them could make the taste of Shinji's lips disappear… 

Shinji couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. What had made Asuka so mad? … When he saw it was almost time to wake up, he sat on his bed and slowly touched his lips with his fingers.

"They are still warm…but my body is cold… I wish it was burning as it was before…"

He stood up, put on his clothes, and went out of his room. He had never realized how much he missed Asuka shouting at him to wake him up… the last memory he had of her shouting at him, was when she said she hated him, the day before.

He sat down by the table. Misato was already there, drinking her morning beer. Asuka was also having breakfast, dressed in her uniform. Misato looked really surprised about the girl's quiet behavior that morning: she hadn't even woken Shinji up! The major could tell she had been crying, but she didn't dare to ask why.

Shinji: Good morning…

Asuka "answered" with a deep frown in her face, while Misato looked up at Shinji and smiled.

Misato: Good morning, Shinji! Did you sleep well?

Shinji: No.

"What's wrong with them? They don't seem to be in the mood of talking today… Well, Shinji is NEVER in the mood, but Asuka usually at least complains about the food!"

Asuka stood up.

Asuka: Bye Misato…Oh! And I'm sleeping at Hikari's tonight…

Misato was going to complain: Why the pilot hadn't told her that earlier? But when she started speaking, Asuka had already gone away to school.

Misato: You'd better come back here, young lady! – She shouted.

But Asuka didn't listen… or pretend she didn't.

Misato: Well? What is going on?

Shinji looked at Misato with a sad look in his face. He stood up.

Shinji: I'll be late if I don't go now… bye, Misato.

Seeing she would get nothing out of him, Misato decided to let him go. He was just walking towards the door when she realized she had to say something.

Misato: Just take care Shinji…of yourself and of Asuka…

Shinji stopped, facing the door. He felt he was going to cry…

Shinji: W…What?

Misato was facing his back, but she could see that those last words had affected him somehow.

Misato: You heard me… I'll see you later Shinji…

He walked out of the door and started to walk his way to school.

It took hours before Asuka fell asleep. And she had horrible dreams, where everyone was laughing at her, calling her a crying baby… Misato, Ritsuko, Suzuhara, Kensuke… even Wonder Girl… even Kaji… even Hikari! And that IDIOT! The Third Child… it was all his fault… and he was happy to see the others hurting her!

She woke up a little earlier than the usual time, sobbing. 

"Control yourself, Asuka!"

She sat down on her bed and, not even noticing what she was doing, put her fingers on her lips. 

"They are warm…but my body is cold… I'm glad it isn't burning as it was before…I hate to feel that!"

She stood up, put on her uniform, and went out of her room. She wouldn't wake baka-Shinji that morning… she hoped he was dead… 

Misato was in front of the refrigerator, picking up a beer. Asuka didn't even look up at her, or talked to her. She just sat down by the table and started eating the "thing" Misato called breakfast. As long as those burned toasts could take that taste out of her lips, it was fine…

Shinji: Good morning…

Asuka couldn't believe he still had the guts to talk to her! But then she realized he was actually saying that to Misato. Somehow disappointed, she frowned, and then she saw Misato looking up at Shinji with a smile.

Misato: Good morning, Shinji! Did you sleep well?

Shinji: No.

"And he probably thinks he is the only one who didn't! I'm out of here!"

Asuka stood up.

Asuka: Bye Misato…Oh! And I'm sleeping at Hikari's tonight…

She hadn't even talked to Hikari yet… but she would understand. The only thing she was sure about was that she couldn't sleep in the house that night. She ran outside before the major could make any objections and closed the door. She could hear Misato's voice shouting from inside the apartment.

Misato: You'd better come back here, young lady! 

But she pretended she hadn't listened and went school.

Shinji was slowly walking on the streets, tears falling from his eyes since he had left home. Then, not too far away from him, he saw the figure of an elegant red-haired girl. She was going to the same direction he was. He slowed his own pace.

Then, he saw the girl was changing her way to the park. She disappeared between the trees and the Third Child couldn't see her anymore. Then, he started to walk faster and faster, and then started to run. When he reached the park, he saw Asuka sitting on a bench.

She was sobbing.

He felt such a pain inside him just to look at her! He slowly came closer to where she was. He could see she had her eyes closed… she looked so fragile, so vulnerable at that moment!

"Just take care Shinji…of yourself and of Asuka…"

Was that what he was supposed to do? He didn't know… But he knew he wanted to comfort her, to make her feel better… If it was really his fault that she was feeling that way, he just wanted to know how he could help her!

He came even closer, from behind her, until their cheeks were almost touching. He leant slowly towards her and, acting without thinking, whispered in her ear something he would have never said if he had any control over himself.

Shinji: I will always be there for you…

"Soft and sweet…"

And then he ran away to school, not even knowing why he had just done that.

"Dumb! Now she will REALLY ignore you!"

Asuka was running at first, but then she started to slow her pace. Tears coming again… She had been walking for only a few minutes when she felt someone looking at her, from her back.

She wouldn't turn around, but she began to blush… that gaze felt warm, comforting… and yet it annoyed her! Who was that? In a second she knew… she knew Shinji was walking just behind her… and why wouldn't he? He was also going to their school, wasn't he? … Wait a minute! Since when did "their anything" exist? It was HER school! 

Her legs started trembling at his gaze. Why did he have to do those things? The first thing she could think about was running to the park. She would wait for him to pass and then she would go on. And that was what she did.

She ran and then sat down on the first bench she saw. She shut her eyes to block her tears, but it didn't work at all. She started thinking about everything she and baka-Shinji had been through together… he had always helped her, while she had always acted like a bitch when she was with him!

She continued in this line of thought until she felt someone approaching from behind. She couldn't dare to open her eyes… then, she felt a warm breath near her neck, and recognized it… What was Shinji doing there?

But she stood still, pretending she wasn't feeling anything, her tears still coming. And then she heard it… that sweet, soft voice, whispering in her ear and making her tremble.

Shinji: I will always be there for you…

For a moment she was frozen. She couldn't even breathe. But she could hear fast footsteps sounds disappearing behind her. Why had he done that? She stood up and started running towards her school again …or maybe towards Shinji…

When Shinji arrived in his classroom, he stopped beside his desk to catch his breath. He ran as he had never run in his whole life. 

"What have I done???? Now I'm dead! Dead!"

Then Shinji felt a hand on his shoulder. It was his friend, Touji Suzuhara.

Touji: What's up, Shinji?

Shinji: N…nothing…. I just…. wanted to know if I could make all my way here running… that's all!

The answer didn't satisfy Touji. He knew Unit 1's pilot to well to be fooled by his lies… And Shinji really didn't know how to lie…. Suzuhara was going to continue his "conversation" with the boy when he saw something that made him stop.

Rei Ayanami, who had been looking out of the window for a long time, had stood up and was coming towards them. Shinji didn't notice her, but Touji found the situation so amazing that he lost a chance to annoy the pilot just to see what would the blue-haired girl do.

Shinji felt once again a hand on his shoulder. But this delicate hand had landed on him with grace, and he felt the difference on the touch. Could that be…. her? Shinji slowly turned around…

Shinji: Ayanami?

He seemed more surprised than disappointed. She had her red eyes focused on him, her face showing no emotion at all. But Shinji saw, for one moment, that her eyes showed she was worried… her eyes betrayed her lack of expression. 

Rei: Are you alright, Ikari-kun?

Shinji: I… yes. Why do you ask?

Rei: Your eyes are different.

Shinji: What do you mean?

Rei: Different… they look red and wet.

Shinji looked down. He noticed Touji had been watching the scene along with Kensuke, who had just arrived. Was it so obvious? It was very strange to imagine himself having that kind of conversation with Rei. She didn't take her eyes away from him.

Rei: Are you… hurt, Ikari-kun?

Shinji: W… Why do you ask? 

He was saying that again…was it just because he didn't know what to answer?

Rei: Because I don't like to see you hurt… And I don't like to see you the way you are now… So I suppose that you are hurt.

Shinji: Rei…thanks.

Rei: For what?

Shinji: For caring about me…

This was really new to him... he was a little embarrassed… to know that Ayanami cared about what he felt… Shinji smiled at her. She took some time to figure out what to do but she finally smiled back at him. Then, the boy heard something…

He turned around and saw Asuka, standing at the door with a surprised-angry look on her face. Hikari walked towards her and started a conversation, but she didn't seem to be paying attention to any word her friend was saying. Then they went to their places and, after the usual "Rise! Bow! Sit!", their classes started.

Shinji couldn't stop looking at Asuka for the whole day. And every time he did that, he saw her eyes were wet. When classes finally finished, he went out of the classroom with Kensuke, Touji and Rei, noticing that only Asuka and Hikari stayed there.

When they were almost outside the corridor, Shinjisadly noticed he had forgotten his SDAT in the classroom.

Shinji: I'll pick it up later…Let's go…

Kensuke: Come on, Shinji! We know you can't live without that thing! I have to go now, but Touji can go back to the classroom with you… See ya!

Shinji: B…But!

Rei: Goodbye, Ikari-kun.

Touji: Come on! What are you waiting for?

Touji pulled Shinji back to the classroom before he could do or say anything. Kensuke was gone… Ayanami was gone… he was afraid of coming back and seeing Asuka again. But it was too late to go back and, when they came inside, they saw Hikari with her arms around Asuka's shoulders, trying to make her stop weeping and sobbing. They could hardly understand was she was saying.

Asuka: T…That ….d…. doll! Did…did you…SEE that ? How… how he was…the… the way… he was…looking at HER ?

Hikari: Asuka…

Then, the four of them noticed each other's presence, surprised. Hikari stopped talking and Asuka, shocked, looked at up Shinji. He tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come. Touji, seeing Asuka's eyes deep red and so many tears coming from them, couldn't control himself. He had always waited for that moment! He tried to sound the more sarcastic he could while he spoke…

Touji: So the red-haired devil does cry! She's more human than I thought; right Shinji?

Hikari gave him a furious look, but he didn't notice. Shinji was shocked.

Asuka: Shut up! Get out of here before I…. I….

Touji: Before you start calling out for your mom? Or before you cry even more? You deserve this, even if I don't know what it is!

Shinji: Touji, stop it….

Touji was surprised. He noticed Shinji's voice wasn't loud, but it sounded strange… it was almost… an order. 

Touji: Why? She is a devil with everyone, especially with you, Shinji! She is a bitch! We have been waiting for so much time just to have our vengeance on her! Or at least I have the guts to admit it!

Shinji could feel rage growing inside him. Asuka was looking at him, with a question in her eyes: Was that true? … She was so helpless… Shinji wouldn't let anyone insult her that way… at least not until she could defend herself!

Shinji: Just stop it, right!

It seemed his friend didn't listen to him.

Touji: Witch! Do you realize now how good it feels to be humiliated? Witch!!

Asuka: I…I…

Her gaze went from Touji to Shinji and stopped there for a moment. There were a few seconds of silence, and then she lost control over herself and ran out of the room, pushing Hikari out of her way, crying and sobbing. Hikari was about to follow her, but Shinji's furious words stopped her.

Shinji: Didn't I tell you to stop that?

He looked so furious that she backed away a few steps. He punched Touji's face with so much strength that his friend fell on the floor. It reminded him of his first days in Tokyo 3, when Touji had told him to hit him…

Touji: What's wrong with you? This hurt a lot!

Shinji: There was no need for that, Touji! She was helpless and she couldn't defend herself! How could you?

Touji: Shinji, you're mad! She treats you as if you were worth less than a piece of shit under her shoes! That girl is who screws your whole life, can't you see? 

Shinji: Don't you ever repeat this to me if you don't want me to hit you again…. I mean it! 

Shinji made a pause to calm down. Then, he continued in a softer tone, which was only meant for him to hear… but he actually spoke it aloud.

Shinji: I am the only one who knows what is her meaning in my life…

Touji couldn't believe what he had just heard, but he understood why Shinji had punched him so hard. And so did the class rep., who was now walking slowly out of the classroom, not being noticed by any of the boys, to head to the place she thought Asuka might be at. 

Asuka was trying to reach Shinji before they arrived school, but he was already too far away from her. She slowed her pace. 

"What have he meant by those words? I…I don't understand. I HAVE to talk to him… It's high time he knew how I feel…"

She was thinking about a way of telling Shinji about that, when she arrived at the door of their classroom. She didn't need to search a lot to find him, beside that idiot, Touji. But what was that???????

Rei Ayanami, the First Child, was coming towards them. She touched Shinji's shoulder with a grace Asuka thought she would never be able to. And then Shinji turned around and started talking to her ! The Second Child couldn't listen to them, but Suzuhara and Kensuke could, and they looked pretty surprised.

"He is… smiling at her? At that doll!?… And SHE is smiling back to him? … I knew it…his words meant nothing… he was just playing with me!"

Asuka was almost crying when she noticed Shinji was looking at her. She also saw Hikari had came and that she was talking to her, but the only thing she could concentrate on was the boy's gaze at her.

Then she walked with her friend to her own desk and sat there, staring at her laptop's monitor. And after the usual "Rise! Bow! Sit!", their classes started.

Asuka didn't pay attention to anything, not even Shinji's occasional glances at her. But, when classes finally finished, she stayed with Hikari in the classroom after everyone was gone.

Hikari: What's wrong, Asuka?

Asuka noticed Shinji's SDAT on his desk. She rose, picked it up and put it inside her bag before she sat down again and turned to her friend:

Asuka: Shinji and I… had a fight…

Hikari: But you are always arguing…

Asuka: But yesterday it was… different…and I'm afraid that… I feel something for him…but this CAN'T be true !!!!! And yet…

Then she started sobbing and crying, and Hikari couldn't understand almost anything she was telling her. But she put her arms around her sad friend and tried to calm her down.

Asuka: T…That ….d…. doll! Did…did you…SEE that ? How… how he was…the… the way… he was…looking at HER ?

Hikari: Asuka…

Then, both of them noticed two other people's presence: Touji and Shinji. Hikari stopped talking and Asuka, shocked, looked at up Shinji. She noticed he was trying to say something, but the words wouldn't come. She was so ashamed to be that way in front of them… and then Suzuhara started talking to her, with such a sarcastic tone even her couldn't use.

Touji: So the red-haired devil does cry! She's more human than I thought; right Shinji?

Hikari gave him a furious look, but he didn't notice. Asuka noticed Shinji seemed somehow shocked. She couldn't leave it that way! She had to say something! 

Asuka: Shut up! Get out of here before I…. I….

Touji: Before you start calling out for your mom? Or before you cry even more? You deserve this, even if I don't know what it is!

Shinji: Touji, stop it….

"My mom… no! Don't make me remember that! … and Shinji! Why did he say that? Is he playing with me again?"

Touji: Why? She is a devil with everyone, especially with you, Shinji! She is a bitch! We have been waiting for so much time just to have our vengeance on her! Or at least I have the guts to admit it!

Asuka was looked at him, with a question in her eyes: 

"Is this true? I am that bad, and… does HE hate me so much?"

Shinji: Just stop it, right!

"So why is he saying that now? Why won't he tell me what I deserve to hear?" 

Touji: Witch! Do you realize now how good it feels to be humiliated? Witch!!

"Yes…I do understand….and I hate this feeling…"

Asuka: I…I…

Her gaze went from Touji to Shinji and stopped there for a moment. She was searching for support, but she couldn't read what his thoughts were about. There were a few seconds of silence, and then she lost control over herself and ran out of the room, pushing Hikari out of her way, crying and sobbing. 

She ran towards Hikari's house, and sat down on her street. Her friend knew she would be there, and that she would need her more than ever.

Shinji was home, sitting in the living room. Touji was with him. But during all the way there, they didn't say one word. Touji was too shocked to speak. After all, his best friend was in love with his worst enemy! It was true Asuka was as beautiful as a goddess, but her personality! He had always known Shinji had a crush on her, but he would never imagine it was THAT serious! 

Shinji: I didn't pick up my SDAT…

Touji: It wasn't there.

Shinji: What do you mean?

Touji: It was not in the classroom

Shinji: I see… I'll search for it later

Silence again. Shinji's mind was busy trying to remember what happened in the classroom. Asuka was certainly talking about Rei when they arrived… but who was HE? She had said something about "the way HE was looking at the doll". The doll was Ayanami, but who was HE?

Touji: Shinji…

Shinji: Yeah…

Touji: You really like her, don't you?

Shinji: … Who? …

Touji: The red-h…I, mean, Asuka… You can tell me… or you'll have to give me a better reason for you to have punched me…

Shinji: I… yes… I like her… a lot

Touji: So why don't you tell her?

"I will always be there for you…"

Shinji: Well… I sort of told her…

Touji: And she likes you too?

Shinji: I don't think so…

Touji: Why? Have you asked her?

Shinji: No

Touji: So, you'd better do so the next time you see her if you don't want ME to hit you! You can't go on like that!

Shinji started thinking about that. He had never really said THE three words to Asuka, not even asked her about her feelings. But she had never given him a chance… maybe, when she came back, he would try… 

But saying that was so much easier than doing it! He didn't even notice when Suzuhara left… but as soon as he realized he was alone, he walked to the bathroom and just stood there for hours, in front of the mirror, trying to figure out a way of telling her…

Shinji: I love you, Asuka

Asuka wasn't crying anymore. She was thinking. Thinking about what Touji had said about her… and about what Shinji had said to him. Was she really that bad? And if she was, why had Shinji never told her? Why did he ask his best friend to stop saying the truth?

Hikari: Asuka! I knew I would find you here!

Hikari was running towards her, with a big smile on her face, waving.

Asuka: Hikari! Where have you been? And what's happened?

The girl stopped a while to catch her breath and then smiled again at Asuka.

Hikari: I can't tell you here… Let's go to my room!

Asuka: What are you planning to do?

She was suspicious, but followed Hikari all the way to her bedroom. They sat down on her bed and started talking.

Asuka: So?

Hikari: He loves you, Asuka! He does!

Asuka: W..What? Who are you talking about?

Hikari: Shinji, of course! You had to be there to believe!

Asuka: Baka-Shinji? That's nonsense! 

Hikari: I was at our school, Asuka! I saw what happened after you left! You won't believe it!

Asuka: I'm getting curious, now… not because of the Third Child, of course!

Hikari: Asuka, after you left, Shinji asked Touji why didn't he stop… and then, he punched him! He punched him so hard that he fell on the floor!

Asuka: …

Hikari: Touji started complaining, but Shinji said that you were helpless, couldn't defend yourself, and there was no need for what he had done! Suzuhara replied that you treated Ikari like shit and that you where the one who screwed his whole life… 

Asuka: Wha…

Hikari: Wait, I'm not done yet! Then Shinji said that if he dared to repeat that in front of him, he would hit him again…. After that, I guess Shinji was thinking aloud, because he said something I almost couldn't understand…

Asuka's heart was beating faster than it would during a battle against an Angel. He defended her… he punched his best friend because of her… not that it meant he loved her, but he didn't dislike her, at least! But then, she realized it was imperative that she knew what he had said at the end of all that…

Asuka: But you DID understand, didn't you? Come on, Hikari…I MUST know!

Hikari: Well, well… so you DO love him that much? I knew it!

Asuka: I…do love him… and I was going to tell him everything today, at school, but when I saw him with the First Child…

Hikari: That doesn't matter anymore, Asuka! I remember his words exactly! He said: "I am the only one who knows what is her meaning in my life…"

Asuka was shocked. So she really meant something to him? She was really important to him! For the first time in her life she didn't feel weak for admitting she loved someone… and it wasn't just someone… it was Shinji!

Asuka: Hikari… I must go home! I must find him!

Hikari: I agree. So, what are you waiting for?

Asuka ran towards the door, but when she opened it, she stopped and turned to face her friend.

Asuka: Wait! … I want you to be true when you answer this: … have I been so mean to Shinji as Touji said I have?

Hikari: I'm afraid you have, Asuka…

Asuka: … I guess I'll have to compensate that from now on… you know, I think I have always treated him like that because I didn't want to admit to myself that I…

Hikari: I know, Asuka… now, go!

Asuka didn't wait one more second. She HAD to see Shinji! She ran home with a smile on her face, and tears falling from her eyes… but this time, they were tears of joy…

Author's note: This last part of the fanfiction will be a little different from the others. You noticed I have been describing the situations first from Shinji's point of view and then from Asuka's. This time I'll put their views together, and I guess you know why… :-)

When Asuka arrived home, she didn't see anyone. She searched desperately all over the house before noticing a noise coming from the bathroom. It was locked, so she presumed Shinji was having a bath. The thought of that made her blush.

"Yeah, I'm really changed…"

She went to his room, took the SDAT out of her bag, and placed it on Shinji's pillow. Then she heard the sound of the bathroom door opening, and ran to her own bedroom. She had to prepare herself, because, in a few minutes, she would be face to face with her destiny: Shinji Ikari…

As soon as the Third Child opened the door of the bathroom, he was sure he had heard something. 

"This is absurd…"

He walked towards his room. While he was thinking about what he was going to do that afternoon, he put on his clothes. Just after a few minutes he noticed his "lost" SDAT carefully placed on his pillow.

"Something strange is REALLY going on in here!"

He picked up the "device" and started to observe it. It wasn't damaged at all, but it felt somehow strange in his hands. Just when he started thinking about that, he heard the sound of a door opening.

"Asuka"

It was the first thought to cross his mind. But what was she doing there? She was supposed to be at Hikari's! And he wasn't prepared to meet her, yet! But it was to late to think about that: Asuka had appeared and was standing at his door.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

But, before Shinji could say anything, he heard the girl's voice so sweet that he forgot about everything.

Asuka: Can I come in, Shinji?

Shinji: S…Sure.

She smiled and came closer to him. She was wearing her beautiful yellow dress, and Shinji thought she had never been so pretty.

"I wonder what he's thinking now…"

Shinji noticed he was still with his SDAT in his hands, but he was so anxious he couldn't remember where he had to put it back. He turned around and reached to open the first drawer he saw… but he had forgotten Asuka was just in the way. He suddenly lost his steadiness and started falling. Shinji realized that he was about to "pull" Asuka to the ground with him, and tried to hold her, while his SDAT fell from his hands.

That act only made the situation worse, because both of them ended up falling on the floor, holding each other… and Shinji was just above Asuka. They were both silent, staring at each other. Suddenly, both of them began to blush. Asuka could feel all the pressure of Shinji's body, and he couldn't make a move, although he was trying to.

Asuka: Baka… what are you waiting for? Get off me!

But she was smiling… and she had said that with a sweet voice. Shinji couldn't believe that he was alive after that! When he was finally able to make a move and roll to the side, Asuka noticed he had fainted.

She laughed a little…That was the Shinji she knew! Then, she sat on the floor, beside him, and put his head on her lap, a little bit turned to the side. She started observing him and thinking about the feeling she had had only a few seconds ago… Asuka started putting Shinji's hair away from his forehead and, when she had courage enough to put a hand on his chest, she noticed his heart was beating fast at the beginning, but it was slowly coming back to normal.

When the boy came back to his senses, he was could feel a hand caressing the back of his neck, where his hair was shorter. He turned a little and then the hand stopped. He wanted to beg for more, but then he saw Asuka's face, looking at him.

Asuka: So… do you want to go for a walk?

Shinji: With you?

Asuka: Of course, bak…errr, Shinji!

Shinji was surprised, but in the inside, he was filled with excitement. He stood up and got a bit puzzled when he realized what had been happening, but then, he saw Asuka standing beside him.

Shinji: …All right, then…

Asuka: Great!

She picked up Shinji by the hand and pulled him out of the house, before he could do anything.

"What am I doing? He must be thinking I have a problem or something!"

But this thought faded away when they reached the street, when Shinji held her hand tighter. The touch felt different for both of them, but it felt so good neither one dared to take their hands off.

They were walking side by side when, instantly, they started heading to the park. Both of them smiled in the inside. It was just like that day, when they had to defeat the Angel with a synchronized attach. When they finally noticed what they were doing, they were already seated on a bench, at the park.

They stared at each other and, for the first time, none off them took their eyes away or said anything. The pilots were surprised when they realized that they didn't need to do or say anything. There were no such perfect acts or words to fit that moment…or maybe there were just one act and three words that could complete the scene… 

Shinji: Asuka, about everything that happened, I...

"It's now or never"

Asuka: Shinji… just shut up!

She quickly closed her eyes and leaned her head forward. Shinji was surprised by the sudden touch of their lips. Asuka put her hand softly on his cheek, and he pulled her closer, by putting his arms around her waist. Their lips were burning and both of them could feel it. 

The embrace got tighter, and, when they finally surrendered to each other's caresses, they started kissing in a more passionate way. Asuka was provoking Shinji, her tongue slowly, almost timidly, touching his.

But then, she finally realized they couldn't keep playing these games, and just let all her passion fill her body, yearning for that perfect kiss and kissing him so desperately that, it seemed, she was as much afraid of loosing him as he was afraid of loosing her since the beginning. They stayed a few minutes like that, not even baring the thought of breaking their embrace. 

Could they bear not to feel each other's touch? Could they bear not to feel each other's body burning, asking for more? Could they simply bear not to feel each other near?

But then, they interrupted the moment at the very same time. Asuka was smiling. She looked inside Shinji's eyes and searched for the same joy she knew she had in her own.

She grabbed his hand and held it above her left breast, before Shinji could do anything. But he didn't look bothered. 

Asuka: Can you feel it? My heart?

He nooded. 

Asuka: It's beating that way because of you…

He pulled her closer and held her. She rested her head on his chest, and he laid his chin on her head. Shinji smiled.

Shinji: Can you feel mine?

She also nodded. Then, Asuka, looked up at him.

Asuka: I… I love you, Shinji… I always have… do YOU love me? 

He caressed her on the cheek with the back of his hand.

Shinji: Don't you know?

Asuka: I need to hear it sometimes, you know…

Shinji: Asuka…

He caressed her hair and looked deeply inside her eyes: they were begging for the answer… He leaned forward and whispered softly in her ear, just as he had done that morning.

Shinji: I love you, Asuka… and you can't imagine how hard I've been trying to tell you these words.

Shinji slowly lifted her chin with his hand. Tears were rolling down her face, and she was smiling. His eyes were also wet. He tenderly kissed a teardrop on Asuka's cheek. He wanted to tell her she shouldn't cry, but he knew he didn't need to say that, and that he was crying too.

So, still holding Asuka's chin, Shinji leaned forward and kissed her again…

################################### THE END #############################

That´s it, everybody! Hope you liked it! R&R, please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abisinia

   [1]: mailto:abisinia@bol.com.br



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